MY PENSIEVE

Pics from Flickr

2007-07-16T14:38:00.000+05:30

I have linked my flickr account to the blog and also a badge of 5 random pics on the side.. Do check and drop in comments though I don't upload too many pics and not very regular at that too..

Hazards of train travel!

2007-07-13T08:24:00.000+05:30

Last weekend I had to go to Chennai and I booked myself tickets on Charminar Express. Now, usually I give my preference as the upper berth. For one, it allows me to go to bed early irrespective of when the others in the compartment want to sleep and secondly, and more importantly, it allows me to get away from all the aunties and uncles who want to make small talk (which is mostly a one-sided interview). This time though, I booked side lower for both legs of the journey. I personally like side lower because you can stretch your legs and lean on the window- read your book in comfort as well as take in the scenery. The only itch is a nosy person on the adjoining seat.

While going to Chennai, there was this lady on the other seat who was listening to music on her cell and was mildly swaying her head. Seeing her so lost in whatever she was listening to, I felt at peace. But then she switched off her cell and started perusing some magazine. I could sense the danger signs but chose to ignore and avoided any eye-contact. But alas, that did not dither her. "So, you are going to Madras", she asked. "Yes", I said, momentarily looking up from my book and immediately diving back into it. "So, you work there?", pat came the next question. " Ah, no, I work in Hyderabad" and to preempt the next question, I added "but, my parents live in Chennai". She gave a friendly nod and proceeded to know where I worked, where my dad worked, how many siblings I had, what they were doing, whether I was a gult, and finally will I exchange my lower berth for another old lady who got the upper berth. I agreed and sunk back into my book and this time plugged in my ear phones. She didn't bother me until the next day morning, that too, only to know how long it would take to reach Chennai. Meanwhile she had a good round of discussion with others on rising property prices and how it cannot sustain, how IT people were screwing the economy by spending carelessly their high disposable income.

I wasn't so lucky on the way back. There was this rotund gentleman who seemed very disinterested and was preoccupied making phone calls. Again my hopes of a peaceful journey were dashed. He started with an innocuous "When does this train reach Hyderabad? " to discussing the seasonality of travel on that route, how it was different from Bombay-Hyderabad route, where I worked, what was the nature of my work, which sectors were going to outperform in the near future (IT is a laggard now according to him, "saturation ho gaya IT mein, construction sector mein badiya growth hoga.. investing in LnT anyone), why I was an underpaid MBA (He heard me wrong and thought I earned a lakh a year and I didn't correct him for my own amusement, till the time we discussed about my house rent.. he started wondering how I paid 6k a month in rent on an 8k a month salary.. our man was good at no.s), why doing an MBA from Bangalore was nothing great (again I missed out on IIM), why an MBA from Ahmedabad was the only worthwhile option in India (I still haven't figured out why he mentioned cities instead of institutes) and interestingly, the best place to get an MBA from was "Boston, Canada". Obviously, I didn't try to argue with that. I agreed that Boston, Canada was indeed the best and I will probably consider studying there in the future. To wade him off, I opened my laptop and started playing a word game. Our man asks me, "doesn't it require wires". "Well, It is running on battery", I said. "For internet?", he asked, "err, no, I don't have an internet connection here". So, after a good round of talking, I decided to go to bed early and woke up only after reaching Hyderabad station.

Train travel is boring, if you are traveling alone that is. I remember how painful those 26 hour journeys from Bombay to Chennai were during engg. days. One of the reasons for going home once in 6 months. If you are a male and < 50 years of age you invariably end up on the upper berth. And if you are the don't-like-talking-to-arbit-people kind then death only will happen.

PS: I could have taken a flight but it is easier to go home (which is 25km away from the city) using the local train from Chennai Central then from the airport. Also dad wouldn't have to drive all the way to the airport to pick me up.

Update

2007-06-22T20:27:00.000+05:30

Well, since it has been quite a while since i paid a visit to this part of cyber space, I thought I will update a bit.. afterall, some people do read my ramblings..

I finally have a car. After much dilly-dallying about what to buy, I decided that I don't deserve a new car, given my complete inexperience with driving in a city and also given the state of traffic in this city. So, I persuaded my dad to send me his old Alto from Chennai and am going to buy him a new car. Dad hasn't decided on what to buy yet but knowing him I am sure he will finally buy a Santro. A car is a decent luxury even if it does not have power windows, power steering, a cd player etc. I love driving on the road from Jubilee Hills to Banjara Hills. Its more fun on rainy days. The roads look very inviting. But still have to learn a bit on how to park in cramped spaces. I have already got a big dent on the side on a car which didn't have a scratch in the last 3 years. Much sadness resulted but we have taken it in our stride.

Went for the Aerosmith concert during the first weekend of June. It was a big let down before it even started. The crowd, despite some really hot chicks, was appalling with the huge lines. We almost stood an hour in the queue. Then there was no dearth of weirdos, dopers, drunkards. The worst of the lot were anyways on the stage. Loved 3-4 songs, a few I had never heard before, rest I never liked in the first place. The chicks behind me were shrieking to express their love for Mr. Tyler. At the end I only cursed myself for putting a long train journey for a 2 hour show and feeling out of place. Wanted to go to campus which didn't materialize. But got to thulp food at Krishna Cafe after more than a year. Roamed a bit pillion riding on Baada's Thunderbird. Hope to put a road trip on it the next weekend that I will be in Bangalore.

Will get hold of a laptop, the R61 thinkpad, by the end of this month. I should be able to blog more regularly. Also, its high time to start downloading movies and some new games. I am tired of playing counter strike, that too the single player version and the 70-80 odd films that I have and watched 'n' no. of times. Have been reading some travlogues by Pico Iyer, Hanif Kureshi's Midnight All Day and what has been more moving - Milan Kundera's The unbearable lightness of being. There will be a blogpost on that one for sure. And, now its time to head off to Gayatri Andhra Meals for our daily dose of good gult food.

I am a movie buff!!

2007-05-21T18:48:00.000+05:30

got the link to this site from Choochie's blog. Basically one has to tick the movies they have seen from a list..

Your Movie Buff Quotient: 88%

You are a movie buff of the most obsessive variety. If a movie exists, chances are that you've seen it.
You're an expert on movie facts and trivia. It's hard to stump you with a question about film.

Are You a Movie Buff?

This passivity!

2007-04-28T16:36:00.000+05:30

It's a saturday.. officially a holiday but there is work to be done.. it has piled up over a lazy week spent at office doing nothing but playing a few games of table-tennis, orkutting and reading blogs/wikipedia and chatting... and all I can manage now is to sit and stare at the screen (not at the excel sheets and market reports though) and listen to music.. The empty coffee cup lies desolately on the table after making an abortive effort to stimulate some grey matter inside my brain. It isnt dead yet. It still frets about the things to do, the deadlines etc. but that is all it is capable of now and no more....

Long long time ago, the mind wasn't this numb. It liked doing things faster and better than everyone around. It wanted to know more than anybody else. It loved books, of all kinds. It loved being questioned, liked raising a few too. And revelled in knowing the answers to the unknown. The hand would invariably rise in any class. Eyes would try to make contact with those of the teacher to grab attention. It was methodical, clinical in it's approach to anything. Failure was despised so much so that a kite that didn't fly on a windless day would bring down tears. The crumbling house made of playing cards would cause much heart break. And now..

...the inquisitiveness and confidence of a 14 year old have been replaced by the anxiety and fear of a 24 year old. Simple things take time to accomplish. It is impossible to stick to a plan. The mind wanders easily, often, to completely unconcerning issues. It tends to go into a state of worrisome restlessness. Competition is not savored but feared. Criticism is accepted without a word of protest, without any effort to prove it wrong or work on a mistake. Is this an unending spiral to the bottom? I shudder to think so. The mind still wants to break free of the claustrophobic walls that it has built around itself. It still believes this isn't me.. this can't be me. May be there is still a way out of this limbo.. Hope is afterall a good thing, probably the best of things...

the new drug lord in town..

2007-04-26T16:35:00.000+05:30

This thing with IIT coaching...

2007-04-20T17:13:00.000+05:30

My sister just finished her class Xth exams and given the uncertainity involved in my dad's transfer to hyderabad, she came here all the way from Chennai, in the middle of a much deserved summer break, to give a battery of entrance exams. To where you ask? Well, these are for getting admission to the coaching classes which guide you for the IIT Joint Entrance Exam. Now there are coaching classes for these entrance exams to the coaching centers for IIT entrance too. and some foundation courses right upto class V. Amazing isn't it? There is so much fucking money in Education as long as the great Indian middle class in all its stupidity wants to get all its children into these elite institutions. and all that for what? Greed. Pure greed. An IIT seat is a ticket to success. Success here being determined by how much you earn post that.

And it doesnt stop there. The IMSes, TIMEs and CareerForums of the world have shown how much money there is to be made in MBA entrances. With the no. of students taking these exams swelling nicely year on year, I think it is high time to step in and share some of the exploits. After all, we are greedy too. With the no. of international schools, engg. and medical colleges and management institutions growing exponentially, may be, I can have a couple of those for myself and take a vacation off in the Carribean with the donation money. Man! I am turning ambitious here :D

Table tennis...

2007-04-20T16:28:00.000+05:30

This is one sport I have loved playing since the first day I held a TT racquet in class V. Though I haven't still managed to learn a decent serve, I am good at belting out smashes to any corner of the table.. and the thrill in getting perfect reflex shots cannot be described in words .. so a game of TT is always thoroughly enjoyed especially so, if it is in office.. makes for a perfect break inbetween excel sheets and annual reports..

But there is something really annoying about this game. It so happens that people tend to learn it faster than me.. they start at a beginner level, keep getting belted and then slowly their game improves, they start serving better, have a better control over their shots and voila! I am at the recieving end.. that too without any punch in their smashes.. and that results in much heartbreak...

Movies Galore!

2007-03-20T12:42:00.000+05:30

Well, it's actually not that many movies but nevertheless a significant no. for someone who prefers watching them in his room than on the big screen. So, in the past 2 months I have managed to watch 7 which surprisingly includes 2 gult and 2 hindi films. Surprising because the last gult movie I saw in a theater was a decade back and I do not tend to like mainstream Hindi ones. I also went back to Sangeet theater after almost a decade having seen "Titanic" the last time there.

The gult movies are the typical formula based ones: 4-5 songs (including one item no.), a few action scenes, a couple of sentimental scenes and some comic ones thrown in as fillers. Thus you get a masala flick which caters to all the audience because of the variety, their mutual incongruity being a non-issue. One can expect a song to pop-up any instant. All it requires is the heroine(mostly)/hero dreaming a romantic duet after a chance encounter for the first song, one family bonding song, one song involving the hero and his gang (basically we will rock you level song), one song on tragedy/sadness on account of someone's death or estrangement of the leading pair. The item no. will happen somewhere in between, but always at the villain's adda. The comedy is very loud and forced. But the action scenes are quite good, given the brilliant camera work and cinematography. Standards have definitely improved by leaps and bounds. Overall, general time pass fare which you tend to forget as soon as you are out of the theater.

The Hindi ones are a mixed crop. You get amazingly realistic films like 'Omkara' or pure comedies like 'Munnabhai' and at the same time some really atrocious ones like 'Honeymoon Travels ltd.', which I happened to watch unfortunately. Man! I was pulling my hair after watching that film. I had higher expectations from Vinod Chopra and went with Baada when he was in town to watch 'Eklavya'. Another disappointment but the movie seems to have been made with the motive of converting some black money into white more than anything else. Otherwise, it is difficult to explain the need for wasting such stellar star cast. Amitabh, Saif, Boman Irani and Jackie Shroff to an extent would have been enough. But then again I liked the cinematography. The images of the desert, the black silhouettes of camels against the orange of the dusk , the brilliantly lit havelis at night, are very captivating. I promise myself a Rajasthan trip again this year and an over-night stay on the desert.

The scene for English movies in Hyderabad is very dismal. I guess they are not much in demand. That explains why theaters like Sangeet are now playing mostly Hindi films. 'Rocky Balboa' was for killing some time on an otherwise boring Sunday afternoon. Was O.K. Had planned to watch 'Blood Diamond' with a friend but ended up watching it alone. Now that is also a milestone for me. This is the first non-fantasy film that I have watched alone, the earlier ones being from the Harry Potter and Star Wars series (Junta think those are for kids, give up only!). Again, not very great. It was more of an action flick than a poignant portrayal of the dark side of the civil war. The last film I saw was 'The pursuit of happiness'. Will Smith's performance was just too good. One could see the pain and desperation in his eyes to give a better life for his son. His versatility is also worth noting after seeing him in films like MIB.

So, it has been movies for weekends so far. Will break the trend this weekend as I head off to Bangalore for a drive and trek with Baada and Bond. Would have loved to have more people on board but still I am looking forward to a good trip to Kemmanagudi.

Professionalism!!

2007-02-26T18:15:00.000+05:30

They used to bunk lectures. They were the regular backbenchers. They struggled to understand the very basic of concepts. They used to free-ride on projects. They made spelling mistakes during last minute copying of lab journals. They looked baffled at the unending pages of their engineering tomes. It was only during the exams that they realized they were actually supposed to pass them. They rushed to different people to get gyaan on select topics, to find answers to questions from previous years papers. With such abject helplessness and hopelessness, it was nothing short of a miracle for all these people to survive the 4 years and finally get hold of a degree.

Post those 4 years, some of them called it a day on their academic pursuits and started working. Some like me, for reasons unknown to them, went for further studies: an MS or an MBA. And, the ritual continued. And, now we are all working. We put atleast 8-9 hours everyday at office. In this context a thought comes to me often: How on earth are all these people, who had such a struggle through their academic life (I am not talking about marks or grades here) , are today working 5/6 days a week in their respective organizations, and managing to be competent in an unforgiving corporate world. I mean, one who couldn't write a decent piece of code in C is today typing away line after line of more advanced languages. One who was confounded by jigs and fixtures is working on advanced aircraft designs. One who had no idea what the sensex stood for is today doing security analysis day in and day out (ahem!) .. and so on.

Is it the fear of the pink slip which forces people to get work done on time? Or, is it the money? Work hard, go up the hierarchy faster, taking their pay packet up all along. Or, have they suddenly found that elusive competitive spirit in them selves? How come these people who didn't care about who topped the class have grown ambitious today? May be I am completely wrong in assuming that in general all these people are doing better off at their work than in college. May be they are still surviving. I do not know. I guess it boils down to one's professionalism in the end and the discipline that it induces. How it comes about is a mystery to me. But every one (including me) seems to be doing just fine. And that is enough for now.

Ladies Special

2007-02-15T11:32:00.000+05:30

Yesterday, I was delighted to see an almost empty bus for home as I left office. I rushed with much joy and just as I reached the foot-board the conductor shouts at me saying it was a Ladies Special bus. It didn't register on me when he said that. I just peeped in and to my surprise and utter dismay, the bus indeed had only female passengers. What the hell!!, the occupancy was not even 15-20%. That too at peak evening traffic. I don't know which moron came up with such an idea, that too when there is already close to 50% seat reservation for women.

Regarding this seat reservation in a bus, the bitches tend to sit one per seat (if they are empty that is - and everyone wants a window seat) and not be accommodating, as if the entire male population is hungrily awaiting to molest them - in a bus that too. So, only the elderly get to sit next to them. A 24 year old has no other go but to stand. You should see the frowns one gets if you accidentally happen to touch them. I try my level best to avoid any contact, lest I be showered with abuses and sandals. I fail to understand the ultra-conservative tendencies of South-Indian women. Bus rides were far more enjoyable in Bombay with better looking females to ogle at and not having to deal with such silliness.

Anyways I took the next bus and as usual it was insanely crowded. Had one of the worst bus rides in my life. Somehow managed to get out at my destination. I don't know how many feet I stepped-on in that process. Getting out of a Virar bound fast local in Dadar would have been more easy. If you are in the right spot, the crowd will take care of the boarding or exiting process. I should soon buy my own conveyance. Till then autos jindabad!!

Bachelor Blues.. :)

2007-02-13T19:38:00.000+05:30

There was an interesting discussion going on between some colleagues at American Express about arranged marriages and love marriages. Smriti, who is a manager there suddenly says to the extent that most of the cases in a love marriage are those involving love blossoming during school/college days and that there is no point in we guys (the not so successful ones in school/college and who are now working and rather old) discussing about it at all. Basically, she meant we are quite hopeless now. Obviously, I was at a loss for words. But she did have a point.

Her point was this : outside of office, where do you get to meet women? Even if you meet them, interaction would be quite limited compared to school/college days or if they are from your office. How can one expect to develop a relationship in such a case? Well, that is true in my case. I have hardly interacted with the opposite sex after school days for no particular reason and that obviously shows in my social life..:(. And, I am totally clueless about what to do about it. Somebody should write a dating handbook for beginners with step by step guidelines (with an Indian perspective!!, I know there are too many otherwise).

Her argument is, obviously, flawed. People do seem to find love after school/college (thankfully). But I don't know the mechanics involved. How do they build on a relationship ?(Come on! it can't be that easy as shown in the movies). And the word 'find' worries me.. :). So what, one just waits for something to happen? Does one just bump into someone he finds very interesting and attractive? and then what ? I have no idea. And I am sure no enlightenment is going to happen in the near future. In the meanwhile all I can do is envy the lucky ones, feel a bit of self-pity and carry on with my life. "Dil pe math le yar,.... " well! you knw that line, don't you :D

Back again!

2007-02-05T10:23:00.000+05:30

It's been such a long time since the last post. Not a writer's block kinda thing but good ol' laziness. A lot has changed since then. I am no longer in Gurgaon. I do work other than gtalking and blogreading. I get paid more. I get to eat idlis for 4 bucks. Bus and auto rides have replaced the office cabs. I reach office by 9 30 A.M. for which I have to wake up by 7 30. I don't have a pseud laptop and make do with a decent desktop. There is no comfort of working for a well known firm anymore. Basically, I am asked to repeat the name of my firm as people don't catch it the first time. Despite losing the trappings of a laid back job (I have to work a little more now), a cushy apartment and a jet-setting life style (yes, I have flown almost every single domestic carrier in the country in the last 8 months, all at my own expense), I am at peace. Atleast, everything around me feels real. The friendly banter with the auto drivers. The shoves and pushes in the bus, an occasional glance from a pretty female, a city that reminds me of my childhood, of the places I had seen, of people I had met. So I have begun living the 25th year of my existence in Hyderabad ( a city neither too familiar nor too alien) and looking forward to the times ahead.

Life and times in Gurgaon...

2006-09-30T23:48:00.000+05:30

My first job landed me in what people call the Singapore of India.. aahh, such was the allure of the place when I was gearing up to begin my corporate life. "The crowd is rocking, machan!" someone said. "It is a very happening place, dude" said another. So, I landed in Delhi airport on the night of 14th of May with much anticipation.. A gush of hot air caught me unawares as I left the plane.. I checked the time just in case.. 10 pm. The mid-summer night's "breeze" had just given me a welcoming embrace..

The early days were spent staying at the hotel and mostly attending business and technical trainings at the workplace, where enthusiastic females would put arbit cp ("class participation" for the uninitiated) and take every word of the presenter very very seriously.. and I had thought all this would end with IIM B. Anyways, the presentations were indeed interesting but there was no reason to prolong the proceedings by asking unneccesary questions. Some people just don't learn. I remember how glad I was with my work timings. From Mon-Wed it would be 2pm-10.30pm, on Thur there was a choice between 8.30 am -5pm or 11 am-7.30pm, and finally, Fri was 8.30 am-5 pm. I would sleep late, generally watching some movie or a football match and wake up late. The thick drapes ensured no sunlight could possible enter the room and the AC was always on full blast. Life was good.

The first few weekends were dedicated for house hunting. And that was when I got a clear picture of where I had gotten myself into. Miles and miles of waste land, dotted with under-construction concrete structures, that is Gurgaon for you. Then they didn't feel like these sad projections from the Earth's surface breaking the clear terrain looking like giant size ledgers.. then, I had just thought about finding an accomodation.. "Sushant Lok mein bachelors ke liye ghar milna mushkil hai sahab", the broker said. "aap chahe toh mai aapko apke company ke pass dilwa sakta hoon". My office was at the extreme end of Gurgaon on the Delhi-Jaipur highway with nothing but some industrial plants in the vicinity. "Yahan power cut bahut hote hai bhaiya, mujhe power back-up waale apartment he chahiye, aur ghar ke aas pass kuch dukan bhi" I told him. That was too much to ask for. I was shown apartments almost in every sector of gurgaon and this went on for a month. Finally, thanks to one of my friends we did manage to find a place suiting our needs - Sushant Estate, Tower 5, 14th floor, a 2 BHK flat.

Now that we were settled, it was time to hit the malls. The population of Gurgaon converges on to the 4 malls (a dozen are under construction) on the weekends. Movie theatres, Restaurants, Pubs, Discs, Bowling Alleys, Shoppers Stop, Life Style... you name it, they got them all. What more can one ask for? Cash inflows have to be matched with cash outflows, ain't it? Simple logic. The folks at DLF and Unitech simply added business sense to that. They first acquired the lands all over the place from hapless farmers. Made buildings in brick and glass. MNCs opened their back-end offices. Then they realized people need to go back home after work. So up came the residential towers one after the other. They didn't consider themselves responsible for drainage systems, public transport, roads and shops(well, OK there is one shopping arcade for every 5 square miles on an average) etc.. And for the prices, well, 50 bucks for a Dosa is quite affordable, don't you think? The Krishna Kafe guy in Bangalore was such an idiot to provide unlimited meals for the same price.

So thats how life goes on, in cycle-rickshaws and shared autos (seat 10 or more only), in the company of crazy drivers during the bumpy rides to and from the office, often, hoping to reach the destination in one piece, in the malls either shopping or watching movies, guzzling Absolut with Sprite or Margaritas in the pubs, in the apartment glued to the TV or laptop, listening to the eerie sounds of the dust storms, of waking up at 8 and going about like a zombie till the cab arrives for office, and of course, working.

It was aroud this time that VeeKay came to pay me a visit. He is such a cheerful chap, this VeeKay. No issues in life, no ambitions if you want to restrict them only to the professional sphere. All he liked to do was travel and read. Watch movies and play games. A being of simple pleasures, he was. He came into existence because my dreams spilled over into my surreal existance, aided by bouts of insomnia. And he was curious to know why I wasn't able to sleep, why I wasn't eating regulary ? He was really concerned. But I had no answers. "I don't know VeeKay, I don't know what I am missing" I told him, "But, I am glad you are here, there is so much we can talk about".

Introductions...

2006-09-30T22:18:00.000+05:30

OK.. finially Vamshi decides to blog.. as you would have guessed correctly, he too belongs to the horde that has plenty of free time at hand and nothing better to do otherwise.. I would also like to introduce VeeKay, who happens to be my alterego.. yes Beedi, I am stealing your idea but I was inspired by Fight Club more than anything else.. But to my utter dismay, VeeKay has no issues with the world, how people live and has absolutely no intentions of blowing up buildings of credit card companies ( He somehow got to know that I work for one of them, damn!) .. He is a free spirit and loves to take my case.. this blog is to facilitate our conversations outside the realm of my grey matter but mostly to relieve and store (or rather, dump!) the threads of utterly useless thoughts that have clogged my mind and make space for fresh ones.
Our present co-ordinates: Gurgaon, India.